i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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