I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
