I'm really into asian looking animals
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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