she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize