3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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