Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
dude. I can hear the air.
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