Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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