People in love make me want to vomit
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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