Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize