I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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