my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
