the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
