u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize