Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
