I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize