You work out of a Hotel?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
