Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize