Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
