OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
