But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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