Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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