Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
