Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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