I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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