Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
