my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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