i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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