tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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