I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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