help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
