OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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