Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize