It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
