her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize