The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
