Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We are two peas in an std pod
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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