Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
