dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I came so hard my ears popped.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
