So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He shit in the fireplace
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
