I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
