so that wasnt chicken after all
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize