i'm signing you up for texting rehab
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
