I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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