It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
