omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
