please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize