I seem to have left my pride at pride
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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