none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
