Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
