apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
