Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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