It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
