I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
