Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize