yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize