you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize