porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
