loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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