If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The air was thick with penises
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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