shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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