Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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