remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
